


He came here to kill himself

by Lynnmix



Category: Original Work
Genre: Suicide
Language: 中文
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 00:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13202229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynnmix/pseuds/Lynnmix
Summary: Before he showed up, I thought I would die in a car accident, plain, boring and totally my style. But murdered by another version of me? That would be awesome.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *Self-translated from Chinese to English  
> *Original in page 2  
> *Inspired by Rick and Morty series and the Silver Key by HPL

He came here to kill himself

“Mr. Cardin? Your twin brother is looking for you.”

I didn’t have any twin brother.

But it would be too troublesome to tell the lady at the front desk about this. Since this man claimed that he was my _twin brother_ , at least he must look very similar to me. If that’s the case, well _,_ I have to take a look.

“I’ll be there as soon as I finish this. Tell him to wait.” I saved the files, closed my laptop and headed to the elevator. It was still the middle of the season and we were not really busy, so taking a smoke break would not draw anyone’s attention.

I took the elevator and went down stairs. Then said hello to the lady at the front desk. I was thinking about asking her out for a dinner tonight, but it seemed impossible under this situation.

“So, where is he?” I leaned on the desk, posturing myself. Sadly the front desk was so high that it perfectly covered my body. The lady looked up and pointed to the sofa.

Oh. There he was. The weirdly dressed young man sat there and was playing his cellphone. I mean, it was not uncommon for young people to have unusual fashion senses. But that was just weird. This guy looked like he was on the way to Comic Con. He was wearing a long coat with hoodie and there were some leather clothes under the coat. His hands were covered in a pair of half-fingered gloves with some metal decoration. When he finally noticed my presence, the man threw his phone into the pocket and stood up, facing me.

Fuck, he looked just like me.

I could feel my blood was rushing to my belly, leaving the head pale and lack of oxygen.

“Harrison! Brother. I planned to call you but I lost my phone. I didn’t mean to interrupt your work.”

Please, stop acting, I just saw you playing with that.

As if trying to finish this scene, he hugged me in the same dramatic way as his voice and then grabbed my hands like we haven’t seen each other in ages.

“I lost my wallet, too. Brother, I needed to get a new one, just in case. Could you lend me some money?”

I knew I should have been altered by the situation. But I really wanted to know what this guy, who looked exactly like me, was going to do. So I nodded.

“So, I need to borrow this guy from you for about 20 minutes.” His hand stayed on my shoulder. We left the company.

 

As soon as we left the front door, his put his hand down and his hoodie, too. He looked like me but with longer hair and small scars across the face. I bet no twin brother can achieve that level of similarity.

“I’m here to kill you.” We were walking side by side. And he told me his mission.

“Then?” Honestly, I was not even surprised. See, I was quite different. I knew that my life had no purpose by the time I was born. I have been longing for death during my entire life. But I never tried suicide. Because I wanted it to be a surprise but not some planned self-murder. Before he showed up, I thought I would die in a car accident, plain, boring and totally my style. But murdered by another version of me? That would be awesome.

“And then, I will leave. Leave this world.” He put his hands in the pockets and we walked along the street. Well, I was going to die, so it did not matter if I did not go back to the company.

“By the way, I’m Luis, Luis Bertoia. I’m you, from another world.”

“Another world?” That would explain his sci-fi costume.

“Later for the details. I can stay here for at most 3 days. Let’s go to your house and talk about your death first.”

I nodded.

It wasn’t a long walk to my apartment.

 

In my apartment

He put something on the table and began to search for food. I went closer to see and found it was a small glass bottle. There was a pair of eyeballs (which, based on the color of the iris, I assumed it was from another me). One of the eyeballs was slowly spinning and following my movement. The other one was fixed on Luis.

“First things first.” He sat with a bag of chips in his hands. We sat face to face.

“My death, right? I don’t think there will be anything left to discuss. Why don’t you shoot me as soon as we met?”

“Because I am a nice, just like you. Since we are the same person, being nice to you is good for me, too. But your choice is very limited since I only have a gun and a bottle of poison.” He took out the two things and placed them on the table.

“Then I pick the gun. As for place to die, for your convenience, I choose the forest outside the city. Tonight, after dinner.”

“Good.” He grabbed the two things and put them back. “But I don’t have money so you need to pay for us.”

“No problem.” I called the delivery. “One large pizza, with pineapple and salami, no olives, and—”

“No mushroom.” He said and took two tins of coke from the refrigerator.

 

We waited by the table.

“I though you would also be a Harrison.” I said.

“Ah. That’s the common mistake from unidimentional creatures. Names and looks will change according to the background of the projection. That’s why I need this.” He laughed and pointed to the eyeballs.

“What’s that?”

“These’re ‘my’ eyes. Of course, they are not mine eyes.” He pointed to himself. “These are the eyes from our origin, the original me. And they could help me to locate their shadows.”

“Mind to explain further?”

“Think of it as photography. The original me was the subject being shot, the world was the camera angle, and us were the photographs. In every new world, there will be a new me. But if the subject is gone, the photos shot after his death will not have him on it. There will be a finite number of us. So the first thing I did after obtaining the inter-dimensional traveling gadget was to kill the original me. Unfortunately, the number was already astronomical. I’ve only visited, perhaps, ten thousandth of them.”

“How many worlds have you visited?”

“20 or 30? I loose count easily.”

“And you are still alive.”

“Well. I came from the world that allowed inter-dimensional traveling. I surely have ways to protect myself.”

“Is that a common thing to do in your world? Killing people from other dimensions?”

“Nope. It’s illegal, but I am a inter-dimension killer.”

“Besides killing yourselves?”

“Yes. This is my…avocation.”

“I can’t believe that I can be so cool in other dimensions.” I was just a mundane accountant in some small company but he was a badass (and probable well-paid) gun-for-hire. This was just unfair.

“Small differences could occur during the formation of a shadow.”

“Huh?”

“Like appearances and intelligence. Sometimes species. I once had locate a cockroach that had our signal.”

“Ew, what’s next?”

“Well cockroaches were tougher than I expected. I may have accidently caused a genocide.”

“Cool”

“And I’ve seen female versions of me.”

“Wow. How did she look like? Same face with two bumps?”

“Actually no. I mean, she looked different but I can still realize that she was me.”

“So did you guys…do something together?”

“Ew! Harrison, that was me!”

“I would want to.”

“And that’s why you are not a inter-dimensional killer.”

“Fine.”

The pizza was delivered. I paid and brought it to the living room.

“I can’t believe this is my last meal.” I opened a cola and picked up one slice of pizza.

“It is at least decent.” He took another slice.

After we ate, I took a shower and began to pack things. I knew it was unnecessary since I was going to die so who cares. But I did want to leave a good impression to my landlord and do her a favor since she would be the one dealing with a missing (dead) tenant. So I emptied the refrigerator and deleted everything in my computer and cellphone.

“How long will they notice?” He had two bags of garbage in hands and was standing by the door.

“One or two days? The company will notice my absence soon.” But honestly, I was not sure if they care.

“That’s good.”

I put car keys and door keys in the pocket, locked the door and placed the keys under the carpet. We threw the garbage and got on the car. I did not understand why I bought two shoves and put them in the trunk years ago. Now I knew.

We drove to the forest near the city. It was dark in the woods. We stopped and took out the shovels and began to dig.

Honestly, I wanted a coffin. But considering that I was wearing a long coat and boots, lying on the soil did not bother me much. My grave was shallow. He did not need to bury me or hide my body. So this grave was just for lying. Then he took the shovels back and threw them into the car. I sat in that shallow grave.

“Do you want to rest?” He put on his night-vision glasses and took out the gun. That gun had some luminescent coating so I could barely see his face.

“No.” I kept staring that that thing.

“You don’t need to worry. Remember? I’m a professional. One clean shot and you will not even feel the pain.”

“No torture? No slow and painful death?”

“What are you talking about?! I’m not a psycho.”

“I know exactly what I am talking about. If what you said was true, then you and me, and those other ‘me’s, should all know that we have always fantasized about torturing our alter egos, skinning them alive, cutting them open and let them beg and scream. I could feel the thrill from these fantasies and so could you.”

“Then do you want one? I mean, if you want I can always change the plan.”

“Nope. Although I do want to hear your screaming, I still prefer death.”

“Okay, but, are you sure? It feels really good to see.”

“Sorry. To be honest, I don’t know why you are doing this. Maybe we are not the same. You are a nice person that could sacrifice his desire to fulfill other’s.”

“Heh. I have to say, that make us exactly the same person. See, we always think that others are way better than us.” He smiled. His voice was like feather. “Of course I choose to do this to get killed.”

We laughed.

The two eyeballs in to bottle was staring at us, separately.

“Time to say goodbye. Harrison. Are you ready?” He stood up and took out his gun.

I lied down in my shallow grave and crossed my hands like every dead people would do in their coffin.

“More than ready.”

I said.

He pointed his gun at my forehead and the last thing I heard was a clicking sound like that stapler on my work desk.

Like he said. One clean shot.

 

End.


	2. 他为杀死自己而来

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 中文原版

他为杀死自己而来

卡尔丁先生？您的双胞胎兄弟找您。”

但是我没有双胞胎兄弟。

不过直接和前台说让那人回去可能会给她添麻烦，毕竟如果有人自称我的双胞胎兄弟，那他一定和我长得很像，而这个可就不是一般的恶作剧能解释的问题了。

“好的，让他稍等。”我放下了手头的工作，把文档和表格都保存后关掉。茶水间和出口在同一个方向，同事们大概也不会在意他们中的一人突然离开。毕竟现在是公司营业季度的中间，还没到真正忙得飞起的时候。

于是我乘上电梯下了楼，来到前台之后先和工作人员打了招呼——我本来还想今天晚上约她吃饭，不过看样子大概是不行了。

“他人呢？”我靠在前台桌子上，试图用一个帅气的姿势搭话。可惜前台那高不可攀的桌子把我的大半个身体都挡住，那位姑娘抬头让我看沙发那边。

坐在旁边沙发上的人中有一个特别奇怪，虽然打扮奇怪的年轻人低头玩手机这种事情挺常见，但那身打扮也太奇怪了点。我就直说吧，那人活像是从漫展刚刚回来，他穿着一件奇怪的连帽外套，帽子还扣在了头上，里面隐约能看到皮革制的服装。他的双手（戴着露指手套，背面有铁钉一样的装饰品）正拿着手机，他看了一会就把它放回了口袋里，站起身，看向我这边。

妈的老天啊他长得和我一模一样。

我的脸色如果不是一脸傻样的话，那一定糟糕透了。

“哈里森，我的双胞胎兄弟。我本来想直接联系你的可我的手机丢了，原谅我吧。”

求你，撒谎起码打个草稿吧，我刚刚就看着你把手机放回口袋。

就像是要将戏演足一般，他用和那腔调一样的夸张动作一把把我抱住，然后拉住了我的手，像是阔别了很久一样。

“我的钱包也丢了，兄弟，我得赶紧弄一个新的，免得那些人联系不到我，借我点钱好吗？”

我知道我应该警惕的，但我真的太想要知道这个和我几乎一模一样的人要做什么，所以我点了点头。

“那，把这家伙借我20分钟。”他的手停在我的肩上，我们一起出了公司。

 

在走出公司的那一刻他的手就放了下来，顺便摘下了兜帽，他和我长得一模一样，只是头发更长些。从我这个距离看，能看到他脸上有些细小伤痕。

“我是来杀你的。”我们并排走着，他在我发问前就说明了来意。

“然后呢？”说实话，我一点都不意外。您瞧，我和其他人不一样，我从出生开始就知道我的生命毫无意义，死亡是唯一值得期待的事情。但我从来没有尝试过自杀，因为我希望我的死亡是一个意外惊喜，而不是有预谋的。在他出现之前，我一直以为我会死于交通事故之类，但是被另一个自己杀死？这简直是比彩虹和独角兽更棒的事情了。

“然后我就会走。离开这个地方。”他把手插进兜里，我们沿着街漫无目的地走着，既然我马上就要死了，那回不回公司似乎都无所谓，“哦，忘了自我介绍，我是路易斯，路易斯贝尔托亚梅，另一个世界的你。”

“另一个世界？”这么说来他这身装束就完全不奇怪了，这相当符合科幻小说的设定嘛。

“细节慢慢讲，我在这最多可以停留三天。我们先回你的住处，来谈谈你死亡的事情吧。”

我点点头：“我带路。”

公司离家并不远，我们花了十多分钟就走回了公寓。

 

到了家里之后，他把兜里的一样东西放到了桌上。我走近看发现是一个小玻璃瓶，里面装着两只眼睛，一只跟随着我的移动而转动，另一只则盯着一动不动的路易斯。

“先谈正事。”他拉开餐桌椅，坐了下来，我坐到他的对面。

“我的死亡对吧。这没什么可商量的，你为什么不在见面的时候直接毙了我呢？”

“因为我是个贴心的人啊，和你一样。既然大家都是同一人，对你好就是对我好嘛。不过你可选的方法并不多，我这只有毒药和枪。”他从兜里掏出那两样东西放在桌上。

“我选枪，地点的话，为了你弃尸方便，就城外的森林吧。时间的话，今天晚上，我想先吃个晚餐。”

“没问题。”他把两样东西收回去，“不过我没有你这里的钱，所以你得自己付。”

“没问题。”于是我订了一个披萨，“多加菠萝，不要橄榄，还有——”

“不要蘑菇。”他从冰箱里拿出两听可乐，接话道。

 

我们接着坐在餐桌前，一边喝可乐一边等披萨送到。

“我以为你也会叫哈里森。”我挑起了话头。

“啊，非跨维度生物常见的错误认识。”他笑了，还打了一个嗝，“名字和外貌都是会随着投影地点而变化的。所以我才需要这个。”他指了指那双眼球。

“那是什么？”

“那是我的眼球。当然不是这个我的眼球。”他指了指自己，“是作为我们的本源的那个我的眼球。它可以帮我找到每个世界的我。”

“可以详细说明一下吗？”

“你可以把这件事理解成摄影，作为本源的我是被拍摄的主体，而不同的世界是不同的取像的角度，我们则是他被拍摄到的不同侧面。如果主体活着，那么各个世界总能拍摄到他的投影并产生新的‘我’。但如果那个被拍摄的主体消失了，那么照片的数量就变成了有限个。我在得到跨维度旅行的科技之后做的第一件事就是把本源的我杀死，停止了我们的产生。不过那已经是非常庞大的数目了，我现在所到过的世界还不足全部的万分之一。”

“迄今为止你去了多少个世界？”

“2、30个吧。”

“哇哦你居然还活着。”

“我毕竟来自能跨维度旅行的世界，那里的科技毕竟领先于其他的地方。”

“你们那儿的人经常做这种事吗？”

“并不，我是非法的。我是个跨维度杀手。”

“除了杀你自己之外？”

“当然，这个是……业余爱好。”

“我简直不相信我居然在其他的世界这么有出息。”我在我的世界只是一个平平无奇的会计，而他居然是酷炫狂霸屌炸天的杀手，这简直不公平。

“这种差异在投影形成的过程中时有发生。”

“哦？”

“比如容貌和智商上的差异，有的时候甚至会出现别的物种。有一次我追踪着信号居然追踪到了一只蟑螂的身上。”

“哇，恶心。然后呢？”

“蟑螂比我想得难杀，我可能在消灭蟑螂的我时造成了一次种族灭绝。”

“酷。”

“我还遇见过女性的我。”

“看起来什么样？同样的脸，多了两块肉吗？”

“并不。我是说，脸有些许的区别，我依然能认出来那是我。”

“你就不想对她做点什么？”

“噫，哈里森，那是我。”

“要是我我就想。”

“这就是为什么你不是跨维度杀手。”

“好吧。”

外卖到了，我付了钱之后拿着披萨回到卧室。

“我简直不敢相信最后一顿饭我居然想吃这个。”我开了罐可乐，拿起一片披萨，上面只放了几片香肠，以及大量的菠萝和奶酪。

“这又什么不好的。”他也吃了起来。

吃完之后，我去洗了个澡，然后我们开始收拾家里的东西。其实没这个必要，毕竟我马上就要死了，死了之后冰箱里的东西长毛发霉了和我有什么关系。但是我还是想死前维护一下我的形象，于是清空了冰箱，顺手把电脑和手机里的东西也删个干净。

“你觉得他们多久会报警？”他拎着两大包垃圾站在门口问我。

“一两天？”说实话，我也不知道。

“好吧。”

我把车钥匙和家门钥匙放在口袋里，关掉了电闸和水管。把门锁上之后就把钥匙放到了门前地毯下面。我们出门扔了垃圾，然后上车。我之前一直不知道我为什么要在后备箱里放两把铲子，现在我知道了。

我们开车到了城市边缘的森林里，天已经暗了，四周黑漆漆的。我们在森林深处停下了，下了车，我把车灯开车，两个人一人一把铲子开始挖坑。

老实说我挺想要个棺材的，但是反正我穿着衣服，直接躺在土里也没什么。我们没挖很深，毕竟这不是什么销毁犯罪证据的情节，只是我想要有个躺的地方。等到差不多的时候我们俩一起把铲子放下了，他接过我的铲子放回了车里，我把车熄火，锁上，然后坐进了那个土坑。

“要不要歇歇？”他戴上了夜视仪，从长外套里面掏出了手枪，上面的高科技设备居然是夜光的。

“不用。”我什么都看不见，只能盯着那个东西。

“别紧张，我手很准，绝对一枪毙命，你甚至感觉不到痛苦。”

“没有折磨？没有充满痛苦的缓慢死亡？”

“你开什么玩笑呢？！我又不是变态。”

“你才在开玩笑。如果你说的都是真的，那你和我，和那些我，都应该很清楚，我们每天都幻想着让另一个自己痛苦地垂死挣扎，并对这施虐感到高兴。”我哼了一声。

“那你想要吗？你想要的话我可以给你安排一个。”

“不了，我虽然想当看的那方，但我更想死。”

“好吧。不过你真的不想吗？很爽的哦。”

“老实说，我甚至都不明白你为什么要这么做，说不定我们并不相同，你更善良，你愿意为了我们做出这一切。”

“好吧，我得说，我们不愧是同一棵树的果实，总是把对方想得太好。”他轻轻地笑了，把头发捋到耳后，“我之所以这么干，当然是为了被杀啊。”

我们一起大笑。

泡在瓶子里的两颗“我”的眼球一颗望着我，一颗望着他。

“好了，哈里森，该说再见了，准备好了吗？”他从地上站起来，拿出了手枪。

我躺进土坑里，双手交叠。

“求之不得。”

我说。

他的手枪抵在我的额头上，发出订书器一样的声响。

一枪毙命。他的确没有骗我。

 

 

end


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